Waterworld (1995) ***

 

There's a collection of movies out there that are known for being bad. This is strange, when you think about it, because, really, there are a LOT of bad movies. Most of them are bad. Most of those simply fade away into obscurity, while a handful are “so bad they are good” and achieve cult status. Another handful get written into history as famously bad films, and 1995's”Waterworld” is one of those.

On a future Earth covered in water due to global warming, Kevin Costner plays a loner, the Mariner, wandering the endless ocean on his sailboat, growing limes in a potted tree, recycling his own urine, and eking out an existence on a planet that is no longer designed for humans. There are other lone wolves out there, and then there are people banded together pathetically on small, floating islands. There are also pirates called Smokers, led by the sadistic Deacon (Dennis Hopper), who have access to gasoline and zip around on motorboats and jet skis, preying on the weak.

The one dream shared by all of these miserable humans is the dream of dry land. The story converges around a young girl (Tina Majorino) whose tattoo may be the key to finding dry land in the vast ocean. Everyone wants the girl, including the Smokers, and the Mariner gets roped into helping her and her adopted mom (Jeanne Tripplehorn).

There is nothing wrong with the story setup or the cast. “Waterworld”'s problems largely center on execution. Costner has been accused of wooden acting, but in fairness, he is playing the Mariner as a loner, isolated from other humans. His reticence makes sense, but it does keep us at arms length from our hero. No one else in the cast is given enough to do to let us live the story through them, so it winds up being hard to get really invested in the story. The film also feels oddly claustrophobic, given that it takes place on an open ocean that covers the entire globe. It's weird that with all that open water, these characters keep running into each other. It's also a LONG movie at 2 hours 15 minutes, and even with all the swashbuckling, it feels long.

Still, “Waterworld” is not without charm. Dennis Hopper chews scenery delightfully as the main villain, and there's plenty of action. This is reasonably-diverting entertainment, better than a lot of action movies. I agree with reviewers who have said that the film deserves to be reassessed. It is not so much legendarily bad, as it was disappointing in its time. “Waterworld”'s bad reputation stems from a combination of a massive budget along with the attendant hype that created expectations that this film simply could not meet.

3 stars out of 5