Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) **

 

The pandemic has meant many things to many people. For me, it has meant working out down in the basement instead of at the gym, which means finding action movies to watch while I work out. You quickly run out of top-tier movies like "Inception"“ and "Edge of Tomorrow."“ Then you re-watch well-worn classics like “Indiana Jones and The Raiders of the Lost Ark” and the silly-but-serviceable “Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade.” That leaves you with a bunch of questionable options. It was basically down to “The Expendables” or this one, the most recent installment in Harrison Ford's Indiana Jones franchise. I decided I would lose less respect for myself watching this one. I chose...unwisely.

“Kingdom of the Crystal Skull” is set in 1957, with Russians taking the place of Nazis as the villains. Led by Irina Spalko (Cate Blanchett), Soviet agents kidnap Professor Jones in order to get his help obtaining a crystal skull. They believe it is an alien skull with telepathic powers. Jones is aided in his fight against the Commies by a young man named Mutt (Shia LaBeouf). Mutt is a stereotypical '50s greaser, complete with a motorcycle and switchblade, and his mom turns out be be Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), Jones's love interest from “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” Everyone winds up down in Peru, swashbuckling through the jungle.

There is no reason this shouldn't be an awesome action film. George Lucas and Steven Spielberg had 19 years to come up with a sequel to “The Last Crusade.” They had a great cast. I mean, if you can't make a good movie with Harrison Ford and Cate Blanchett, you should be ashamed. The weakest link in this chain is the writing. The story is just dumb, meandering over a LONG 2 hours to a climax that does not feel worth it. Karen Allen's beautiful smile is welcome, but her character basically just moons over Indiana Jones. It's a real waste. Shia LaBeouf is the other weak link in the film. He was a promising child actor, but he has neither the acting chops nor the charisma to play opposite an actor like Ford.

The Indiana Jones films were meant to be big-budget versions of the old, B-movie, adventure serials. They are fantastical, but they work when they make you believe that Indiana Jones can really do all those crazy stunts. It's mainly Harrison Ford's charisma and commitment to the character that elevate these B-movie copies into classics. We buy it, because Ford sells it. In “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” he just doesn't quite sell it. Honestly, none of the stars seem to really have their hearts in the movie, and the result feels like a cynical attempt to reboot a lucrative cash-cow of a franchise.

Come to think of it, I loved “Raiders” and “The Last Crusade,” but “Temple of Doom,” the second film in the series, was pretty weak. Maybe only the odd-numbered Indiana Jones films are good. If that pattern holds, we should have a lot to look forward to in the newest movie, which will be the fifth in the series, slated for release July 2022.

2 stars out of 5

A Very Murray Christmas (2015) *****

 

I really can't believe I haven't written about this Christmas special before. We've been watching "A Very Murray Christmas" for years, now. It has become a Christmas tradition, and it never gets old!

Bill Murray plays a version of himself. In the story, we find him about to host a Christmas special that has gone to hell. He was supposed to have guests like George Clooney, Pope Francis, and Iggy Azalea, but a blizzard has shut New York City down, and it's just him and Paul Shaffer. A power outage finally axes the show, much to everyone's relief, and Bill and Paul retire to the hotel bar for drinks and Christmas songs with the hotel staff, which includes Jenny Lewis, Maya Rudolph, Buster Poindexter, and the band Phoenix. Jason Schwartzman and Rashida Jones play an engaged couple whose wedding has been ruined by the blizzard.

It would be impossible for me to overstate my delight in this odd, little movie! It's a Christmas special for grownups, but it isn't dirty, or cynical, or silly (see "A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas"). The songs range from the familiar (“Silent Night” “Sleigh Ride”) to the obscure (Phoenix's cover of an un-released Beach Boys song, “Alone on Christmas Day”) to the weirdly delightful (Albert King's “Santa Claus Wants Some Lovin'”) The best number, musically, is probably Maya Rudolph singing “Christmas (Baby, Please Come Home),” but my favorite piece is the cast's rendition of the Pogues classic, “Fairytale of New York.”

As great as the music is, the story and the offbeat humor are just as good. Bill Murray's sad sack demeanor is perfect for this tale of a guy whose Christmas isn't turning out like he expected, and “A Very Murray Christmas” is ultimately a joyous and sweet story about making the best of things. During this Covid Christmas, it's especially resonant, and at only 55 minutes, it's easier to digest than Christmas dinner!

5 stars out of 5

Forbidden Planet (1956) ***1/2

 

Inspired by Shakespeare's “The Tempest,” this mid-50s sci-fi thriller was highly influential. It was the first big-budget science fiction film (back when $1.9 million was a big budget), helping to legitimize what had previously been strictly a B-movie genre. You can also see this film's DNA all over the original Star Trek, and Gene Roddenberry has acknowledged the inspiration.

Leslie Nielsen plays the square-jawed Commander Adams, whose spaceship and crew are dispatched to the distant planet Altair IV to find a missing science expedition. On the foreboding, desert planet, they discover the one remaining member of the team, Dr. Morbius, who lives with his planet-born daughter, Altaira, and Robby the Robot. It sounds campy as hell, but they play it straight, and by the time Adams and his crew discover Dr. Morbius's secrets and solve the mystery of the planet's menace, we are treated to some fairly high-concept science-fiction.

“Forbidden Planet” really captures the spirit of the 1950's, selling sex while promoting regressive attitudes towards it. Altaira is a gorgeous 19-year-old who has never seen a man other than her father before. She is naturally interested in all these male visitors, and the feeling is mutual. Commander Adams, by virtue of his superior position, superior height, and superior jawline, forces the other crew members to step aside so he can woo the girl. Altaira runs around in the skimpiest mini-skirts imaginable, but when Adams chastises her for showing off her body, she makes herself some longer, more modest clothes. Fifties audiences got to come away from this film feeling that good, traditional morals were being promoted, after feasting their eyes on Anne Francis's gorgeous legs.

Regressive themes notwithstanding, “Forbidden Planet” is an important film in the science-fiction cannon, and an enjoyable one. It's just campy enough to be fun without undermining the story, and you can see this movie's fingerprints on the genre for decades afterwards. Plus, Anne Francis looks fabulous in those mini-skirts!

3.5 stars out of 5

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas (2011) ***1/2

 

Talk about a Christmas Miracle! I was doing the usual streaming service thing, clicking through dozens of titles without really seeing anything I wanted to watch, when I saw the familiar, brown-ish faces of one of my favorite stoner duos. Was it possible that there was a Harold and Kumar movie out there that I hadn't seen? Was it streaming for free? Yes, and yes!

We first met Harold and Kumar in 2004's “Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle,” in which these college buds get stoned, get the munchies, and try to find a White Castle restaurant to pig out at. The movie was delightfully silly, and featured a memorable cameo from Neil Patrick Harris. 2008's "Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay" was somewhat less delightful, considerably sillier, and its best moments once again featured Neil Patrick Harris. I found the sequel so disappointing that I guess I didn't notice when a Christmas movie came out in 2011.

The story picks up 6 years later. Harold (John Cho) has a solid, Wall Street job and is married to Maria (Paula Garces), his crush from the first movie. As great as his life looks, Harold is under considerable stress. He and Maria are struggling to get pregnant. Meanwhile, her huge family is coming for the holidays, including her intimidating father (Danny Trejo). How does Harold deal with all that stress? He just suppresses it. He doesn't smoke weed anymore, and he doesn't hang out with Kumar anymore, either. Kumar (Kal Penn), on the other hand, still gets high constantly, and his life is essentially stalled in an extended adolescence. You could honestly probably write the movie yourself from here. Kumar shows up to complicate Harold's family Christmas, and the 2 wind up having a wild, New York adventure filled with irresponsible behavior and...wait for it...Neil Patrick Harris!

This movie doesn't quite have the magic of the original, but I enjoyed it considerably more than the Guantanamo Bay movie. The story is decent, and the film has a strong supporting cast, including Danny Trejo and Thomas Lennon (from “The State” and “Reno 911”). The series redeemed itself with this one, and, as Neil Patrick Harris teases in his scene, “I'll see you in the 4^th one!”

3.5 stars out of 5

Young & Beautiful (“Jeune et Jolie” French, 2013) ***

 

16-year-old Isabelle loses her virginity and then turns 17, all during a beach vacation, and she doesn't seem to be all that impressed with either occurrence. Jump ahead a few months, and Isabelle is back home, back at school, and using her free time to earn a few extra bucks as an expensive call-girl. How and why did this upper-middle-class girl get into prostitution? We never really learn that. Isabelle is a cipher to her family, her friends, and to us.

22-year-old French model Marine Vacth is extremely easy on the eyes, and she looks great naked. We get quite a few opportunities to appreciate that, but “Young & Beautiful” is not as erotic as it should be, when you consider what director Francois Ozon has to work with. Partly, it's the ick factor created by Vacth's character being underage, having sex with all these older men. The main problem, though, is Isabelle's flat affect. I think she only smiles twice in the whole film. Absent any poverty, we assume that Isabelle prostitutes herself because she enjoys it on some level, but we never get a sense of what is going on behind that beautiful face.

I don't think this is bad acting on Vacth's part. I think Ozon intends us to see Isabelle from the outside, as her friends and family do, and to be mystified by her actions. Indeed, the film opens with us viewing Isabelle through a pair of binoculars, as she sunbathes on the beach. For the next hour and a half, we see Isabelle as others see her, as an object of desire or frustration, but not as a fully-realized person. The result is an incomplete narrative, more of a sketch than a completed work.

3 stars out of 5

Prospect (2018) ****

 

You ever notice how, in the “Star Wars” films, every planet is somehow safe for humans to breath the air and drink the water? Well, I got sour news for ya, Jack! We evolved to deal with Earth's atmosphere, toxins, and microbes, and it's highly likely that those of other planets, no matter how inviting, will be deadly to us. “Prospect” is a sci-fi western that acknowledges that reality. The film combines gritty realism with a great cast, including newcomer Sophie Thatcher, Jay Duplass, and Pedro Pascal (Oberyn Martel from “Game of Thrones”). With writer/directors Christopher Caldwell and Zeek Earl, they have created a smart, tense, realistic sci-fi on par with “The Martian” or “Europa Report.”

Damon (Duplass) and his daughter Cee (Thatcher) are prospectors, searching for amber-like gems distilled from the embryos of some kind of creature, on a lush, alien moon where the jungle air is full of deadly spores. They have found a “hive queen nest,” the gems from which should set them up for life. They are working against the clock and have ship problems, and then they meet Ezra (Pascal) and his partner, a couple of outlaws who want to horn in on their action.

It is rare to see a film that has so much respect for the intelligence of its audience. I have seen some reviewers complain that the film is short on character development, but I think they are just used to movies where everything, including the actors' faces, is laid out for you. In “Prospect,” we see the actors' faces through plexiglass, and hear their voices through a helmet mic. (Here's an interview with the directors, who discuss how most sci-fi directors look for any excuse to get their actors out of their helmets, and how they chose the harder route. https://www.slashfilm.com/prospect-interview/) This is also a story of the frontier, where life is precarious, and people aren't likely to wear their emotions on their sleeves. If you pay attention and imagine yourself in these situations, there is plenty of character development.

It isn't just the characters who require some effort to understand. Caldwell and Earl don't spend much time on explication. Everything about this world, including the weapons, the alien gems, and the spores in the air, is presented as-is, and you have to really pay attention to understand what is happening. Even then, plenty of questions go unanswered, and I found myself yearning to know more about this world. “Prospect” is the experience of opening a window on another time and place and being permitted to view a story there, but without a guide. It's disorienting at times, but the reward is a world and a story that feels much more palpable than something from, say, “Star Wars.”

4 stars out of 5

Netflix

I Don't Feel At Home in this World Anymore (2017) ***1/2

 

What would you do if your house got robbed? For Ruth (Melanie Lynskey), it's just the capper on another crappy day full of slights and humiliations from her thoughtless fellow humans. When the equally uncaring police make it clear that they don't consider her burgled home a high priority, Ruth turns sleuth herself. With help from Tony (Elijah Wood), her oddball neighbor, Ruth tracks down her missing property and the lowlifes who took it.

Lynskey and Wood are both excellent, really disappearing into their characters. You may recognize writer/director Macon Blair, who makes a small cameo in this film, from another revenge film, 2014's "Blue Ruin."  He seems to be a creative mind to keep an eye on. “I Don't Feel At Home in this World Anymore” is another festival-style, small movie that fills its niche perfectly.

Critics keep trying to interpret modern revenge and vigilante tales as cautionary tales against taking the law into your own hands. “It's not worth it!,” they say. And yet, these films keep getting made, because people have an inherent need to see justice done. Ruth and Tony do wind up getting more than they bargained for, but I cannot view the film as a cautionary tale. Frankly, I found it inspiring. In a world that seems to have lost the capacity to care about anything, it's beautiful that Ruth finds another person who shares her outrage at what is an outrageous act. She doesn't just want her stuff back, she wants the people who broke into her home to be punished for it, and I wanted it, too!

3.5 stars out of 5