An American Pickle (2020) **

 

What do you get when you take a beloved, comedic actor, give him a classic concept, and let him run with it? In this case, not much, really. “An American Pickle” is what happens when a performer takes a half-baked idea and forgets to put it back in the oven.

Seth Rogen plays 2 roles. The first is Herschel Greenbaum, a 19th-Century, Jewish laborer who immigrates to New York with his wife, Sarah (Sarah Snook). Working in a pickle factory, Herschel falls unnoticed into a vat of pickles. The factory closes down, life goes on, and no one knows what happened to Herschel until 2020, when someone opens the pickle vat and out pops Herschel, preserved by the salt. So it's basically an unfrozen caveman story.

In the 21^st Century, Herschel meets his only surviving family, his great-grandson Ben (also Seth Rogen). Ben is a struggling app developer, a typical metrosexual, and non-religious, so the two ultimately wind up butting heads. Herschel goes out on his own to make a living selling pickles, but being a fish-out-of-water turns out to have its challenges.

“An American Pickle” has some amusing moments, and there's no reason this concept shouldn't work, but the movie isn't that well-written. The jokes just really aren't all that funny. Seth Rogen also carries the whole movie on his shoulders, and maybe it could have benefited from some supporting players.

One thing I will say about the film is that it has a certain “Being There” quality. Herschel, the immigrant maker of artisanal pickles is initially a big hit with the urbanite hipsters. Then Ben sabotages him by encouraging him to share his thoughts on Twitter. Once New Yorkers get a load of Herschel's retrograde ideas on women and gays, he is persona non grata. At first, pissing off the Libtards makes him a hero with the conservatives, but then he offends them, too, becoming a complete pariah. As long as he was just Herschel the pickle man, people were happy to project their own values on him, and they loved his eccentricities. Once he starts sharing his political and religious beliefs with the world at large, people latch onto whatever he says that they don't like, forgetting everything they liked about him. There's a lesson there for us all.

2 stars out of 5

Safety Not Guaranteed (2012) ****

 

*WANTED* Someone to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.

This newspaper ad grabs the attention of a group of journalists. Jeff (Jake Johnson) and his interns Darius (Aubrey Plaza) and Arnau decide to write an article about whoever placed this wacky missive. They stake out a post office and get on the trail of Kenneth (Mark Duplass), a grocery clerk with delusions of scientific grandeur. Kenneth is very serious about time traveling, and he immediately sniffs out Jeff's fake attempt to join him. The quirky Darius has more luck earning Kenneth's trust, partly because she genuinely wants to travel back in time. While Darius and Kenneth train for “the mission,” Jeff pursues his own mission, which is to hook up with an old flame, who just happens to live in Kenneth's town.

“Safety Not Guaranteed” is the kind of film festival movie that translates really well to a general audience. This isn't oddball, arthouse fare; it's just a funny, human movie with a heart as big as a mountain. It's about people, with all their faults, trying to love themselves and find someone to love. Kenneth's ad is a very existentialist cri du coeur. Fact is, we are all time travelers, going forward in time. We get paid when the mission is done, we have to bring our own weapons, and most of us want someone to travel with us.

4 stars out of 5

Raising Arizona (1987) *****

 

Paging through my streaming services in search of something good to watch is often an exercise in frustration. It can be a sea of crap with a few so-so movies floating in it, and I can spend ten minutes clicking around, finding a handful of “maybe's,” but nothing that I really want to commit to. People who are old enough may recall having the same experience at the video store. It's nice when you see something that you can immediately say “Yes” to, and that's what happened when I saw that “Raising Arizona” was streaming.

Nicolas Cage plays H.I., an ex-con married to Ed (Holly Hunter), a policewoman. The odd couple are truly in love, and H.I. cleans up his act to be a good husband for Ed. A cloud moves across their sun, however, when they learn that Ed is infertile. Both sink into a depression. When an area mom delivers 5 babies, the “Arizona Quints,” Ed and H.I. hatch a scheme to steal a baby from people who seem to have more than they can handle.

That's all I'll say about the plot of one of the true classics. I hadn't seen this in years, so really it was mostly new to me, and I loved every minute! The cast, including John Goodman, is excellent, and the story is hilarious and heartfelt. This is one of the Coen brothers' best films, and definitely one for repeat viewings. It's a story about longing, about temporary insanity, and the question of whether a person can truly change. Mostly, it's about what makes a family.

This happens to be my 500^th entry in this movie journal, and I couldn't have picked a better film to mark the milestone.

5 stars out of 5

Blood Simple (1984) ****

 

Before “Raising Arizona,” before “Miller's Crossing,” before “The Big Lebowski,” there was “Blood Simple.” Joel and Ethan Coen's first feature only cost $1.5 million to make, but it's as tightly-wound a neo-noir as you could ask for.

Joel Coen's wife, Frances McDormand, stars as Abbey, who is leaving her creepy, bar-owning husband, Marty (Dan Hedaya). Ray, an employee at the bar, helps her leave, and the two become lovers. That should be the end of the story right there, but once we meet Marty, it's obvious that he isn't the kind of guy to take an insult like that lying down. He winds up hiring a sleazy private-eye (M. Emmet Walsh) to kill the two, and we're off on a classic noir tale of murder, suspicion, and Shakespearean levels of confusion.

It's an impressively complex and cohesive tale for a first effort. The scenes do get a bit slow at times, which is why this is one of the few films where the “Director's Cut” is actually shorter than the original. Even that cut drags in spots, but it's worth it. The cast is outstanding for a low-budget film, and the plot will leave noir fans satisfied. The series of errors and misunderstandings that draws the protagonists deeper and deeper into noir hell really does remind me of some of Shakespeare's tragedies. The Coen brothers went on to make even better films, but definitely don't overlook this classic.

4 stars out of 5

The Towering Inferno (1974) ***

 

Disaster movies are usually the worst, exploiting natural human anxieties and trading in the most hackneyed, sentimental tropes. The heroes are ever so righteous. The villains are stereotyped, usually rich, weak-chinned fat-cats who think they can buy themselves a spot on the first lifeboat. They love to put children in danger, the cheapest way to create suspense. Despite the fact that it engages in all these sins to some degree, “The Towering Inferno” is actually a disaster movie worth seeing.

Paul Newman plays Doug Roberts, a San Francisco architect finishing up his masterpiece, the tallest building in the world at 138 stories. As his maintenance team starts bringing systems online, they discover some electrical issues. Doug learns that the developer (William Holden) farmed out the electrical contract to his son-in-law (Richard Chamberlain), who cut corners on the specs. While Doug is giving these guys a hard time, little do they know that the cheap wiring has already sparked a fire on the 81^st floor. With the sprinkler systems not yet functional, the fire spreads, eventually threatening everyone in the building, including the bigwigs at the premature opening ceremony on the 135^th floor. Fire Chief O'Halloran (Steve McQueen) leads an action-packed rescue that includes helicopters, rappelling, and copious explosions.

The cast is a Who's Who of famous faces from the early 70's, including Newman, McQueen, Faye Dunaway, and even O.J.Simpson, back when he was a beloved athlete/actor. There are also a number of famous actors from an earlier era, including Fred Astaire and Jennifer Jones. Everyone seems to be having a good time. They all seem to understand that, after all, this is a disaster movie. They ham it up, smile, and let the pyrotechnics do their job.

What keeps the film from being cheap, exploitative action-schlock is the two stars, Newman and McQueen, and the chemistry between them. Both portray no-nonsense men of action, not glib action heroes. While everyone else acts like they are in a Very Special Episode of “The Love Boat,” these two actors keep the movie grounded. Don't get me wrong; this is not a great movie by any stretch. It is pretty entertaining, though, and while it may be hard to watch for a generation who saw the World Trade Center fall, it is probably the best of the 1970's disaster movies.

3 stars out of 5

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989) **

 

There are 80's teen movies that have aged well (1985's “Back to the Future” comes to mind.), and then there is “Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.” The movie was a sensation back in the day, with young people constantly quoting its catchphrases - “Excellent!” “Party on, Dude!” I honestly never sat down and watched the entire movie back then, but you would have had to live under a rock to have missed its influence. Watching it now, I think that the kindest thing that can be said is that it is very of its time.

The film is about a couple of Valley Boys. Bill (Alex Winters) and Ted (Keanu Reeves) are a pair of lovable goofballs who are too busy fantasizing about being big rock stars to actually learn music, let alone study for school. Despite their slacker ways, we learn that these guys are destined to become the greatest musicians and thinkers of all time, upon whose music a future, Utopian society will be based. That won't happen if they flunk out of school, however, so that future society sends a guy named Rufus (George Carlin) back in time to ensure that they pass. (This is NOT one of those movies that thinks deeply about time travel.) Rufus lends the boys a time-traveling phone booth (apologies to “Dr. Who”), and they skip through the centuries, kidnapping historical figures to speak in their history presentation.

It's all as dumb as it sounds, which is saying a lot, and which was not inevitable. Plenty of movies with sillier premises than this have managed to have an underlying intelligence and wit. When “Bill & Ted” manages to be funny, it's the funny of a public fart, and I don't mean the unexpected fart from your uptight, high school principal, followed by an awkward silence. This film is more like when the class clown rips one for the hundredth time.

Whatever I think of it now, the movie was a hit back in the day. The kids loved it! It also unleashed Keanu Reeves on the world. This wasn't his first movie, but it's the one that made him a star, for better or for worse. His wooden acting would go on to pollute our screens for decades to come. One thing I'll say for “Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure” - Reeves is actually animated in this movie. He has spent most of his career looking and acting like he ate something that disagreed with him. In “Bill & Ted,” he's a loose-limbed, goofy-smiled, charming marionette.

As one of the few people in the Free World who didn't see the film when it came out, I'm in a unique position to reconsider it now, as I have no nostalgia for it. The question is, viewed on its own merits, should you watch it now? The answer is complicated by the release, all these years later, of a new Bill & Ted sequel, “Bill & Ted Face the Music,” which I have not seen. I would say that unless the new film gets some pretty stellar reviews, it would be safe to leave the whole franchise to ancient history.

2 stars out of 5

Ready or Not (2019) ****

 

It's nothing new to say that the whole in-laws thing is weird. One day you've got your own family, with whom you've built up memories, traditions, and in-jokes over the years. Then you get thrown into the midst of another family, who have their own secret language that you don't speak. For Grace (Samara Weaving), an orphan who grew up in foster homes, family is a foreign concept altogether. Her fiance, Alex, is estranged from his family, but has agreed to return with Grace to be married at the family estate. The Le Domases have a family fortune built on board games and sports franchises. They also have some weird traditions, some of which involve a barn full of goats out behind the mansion. Their weirdest tradition, though, is that whenever a Le Domas marries, the new in-law has to play a randomly-chosen game with the family. Usually it's something like chess or Old Maid, but if the Hide-and-Seek card comes up, things get serious. The family has to hunt down and kill the new bride or groom before dawn. Good, clean, family fun!

“Ready or Not” is a horror comedy that nails the balance between horror and comedy. Filmed for only $6 million, the movie takes full advantage of its talented cast, including Andie Macdowell and the gorgeous Melanie Scrofano (Mrs. McMurry from “Letterkenny”). Samara Weaving is excellent, even if she does look a bit too much like Margot Robbie. (If history has taught us anything, it's that Hollywood can always make room for another blonde bombshell.)

There's a lot of talk about the movie's socio-economic commentary, or whatever, but it's a bit overblown. A bunch of rich people try to kill a poor person for trying to join their ranks. Nothing particularly ground-breaking there, but I guess these days everyone wants to view things through the lens of class warfare. This is not a biting social satire on the order of, say, “Get Out.” I'm content to enjoy the movie for what it is – a funny, tightly-wound thriller that puts a new face on family game night.

4 stars out of 5

Palm Springs (2020) ****

 

Nyles (Andy Samberg) is stuck in a time loop. Every day, he wakes up with his girlfriend, Misty, cracks open the first of many beers, and kills time until the wedding in which Misty is a bridesmaid. Whether the day ends with Nyles falling asleep, passing out, or getting killed, he just wakes up again in the same bed, with the same girl, on the same wedding day. How long he's been in this loop, we don't know - long enough to have slept with many of the players, attempted suicide numerous times, and developed a fully-nihilistic philosophy.

Things change, sort-of, when Sarah (Cristin Milioti), the sister of the bride, follows Nyles into a cave and gets sucked into the time loop with him. Sarah is a self-described “liability, who f---s around and drinks too much.” She's the perfect buddy with whom to spend a never-ending day where nothing you do has any consequences.

“Palm Springs” is charmingly-crafted, with great chemistry between the leads and a grounded supporting performance from J.K. Simmons. Because of the pandemic, the movie didn't get much of a theatrical release, but it's way better than you would expect from a straight-to-streaming film.

If you had asked me if we needed a ripoff of “Groundhog Day,” I'd have told you “No, thanks!” It turns out, during these days when it feels like we are trapped in an endlessly-repeating cycle of limited social interaction and bad news, “Palm Springs” is just the movie we needed.

4 stars out of 5