Lady Bird (2017) ***

So this is one of the movies everyone was buzzing about this awards season. The semi-auto-biographical, coming of age tale is written and directed by actress (now director) Greta Gerwig, and stars Saoirse Ronan. Lauded by critics, the film won Best Comedy at the Golden Globes and earned an Oscar nomination. All the critics seemed to agree this movie was AMAZING! I was skeptical, though. I had a feeling this would be just another story about a quirky outsider who has a fraught relationship with a parent, dealing with the tricky teen issues of friendships, sex, and finding her identity, and it turns out I was right.

Saoirse Ronan plays Christine, a teen who has decided to go by the name Ladybird. For Ladybird, renouncing her given name is a way of distancing herself from her family, their modest financial circumstances, and her town of Sacramento, which she feels has no culture. Her family really isn't all that poor; she just goes to a fancy private school (on scholarship), where most of the kids have fancy cars and big houses, which she does not. Ladybird is bright but lazy, and her grades don't support her dream of getting into an East Coast liberal arts college. Neither does her mom, who tends to be pretty hard on the girl. When the guidance counselor tells Ladybird, “It's my job to help you be realistic,” Ladybird says, “Yeah, that seems to be everybody's job.”

Ladybird goes through the usual stuff, experimenting with sex and drugs, and feeling sorry for herself. As befits her callow age, she is completely oblivious to everyone else's problems. She falls for a guy in her theater class, and is bummed when her chubby friend, Julie, gets the juicy role opposite him, complaining, “Now you get to be all romantic with Danny on stage.” When Julie replies, “Yeah, that's realistically the only chance I'll get to do that,” Ladybird is totally unmoved by the pathos of Julie's life as the less attractive friend. This pattern repeats itself again and again, as Ladybird focuses on her own disappointments, failing to see that everyone has a struggle.

This is, of course, very realistic for a girl her age. “Lady Bird” is full of realistic touches, from Saoirse Ronan's visible acne, to the hot girl at their school, who isn't objectively all that hot.

The key relationship in the film is that between Ladybird and her mom. As with many teenage girls, it's a rocky one. Marion (Laurie Metcalf) is pretty critical of her daughter, and she often vents her general frustrations on her. Ladybird is just a callow teen, un-driven as a student, and insensitive to the hurt she inflicts on her parents by being so obviously ashamed of their small house and modest car.

There is really nothing not to like about “Lady Bird,” except perhaps for the slightly clunky ending, which I actually liked. It's an ending that doesn't wrap things up in a neat package, with Ladybird suddenly becoming a better person or having the perfect life. This is an ending that makes clear that this is still the same girl, with the same issues, but starting to grow up a little.

It's an enjoyable movie, but I can only explain the outsized hype surrounding it as sexism. With the Me Too and Time's Up movements going on, this is an Up With Women kind of year, and everyone in Hollywood wants to celebrate movies made by women. It's a laudable instinct, but it has led to virtual canonization of what is really a pretty basic girl's-coming-of-age movie. There are any number of better, more memorable films from this genre, including "Me Without You"  and "An Education".  Once this year's hype dies down, “Lady Bird” will still be worth checking out, but I doubt we will still be talking about it in 10 years.

3 stars out of 5

Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) **1/2

I didn't watch this action flick back when it came out, but I wanted a movie to watch while riding the spin bike, so I gave this remake of a 1974 B-movie a go. My soul died a little bit when the opening credits said, “Jerry Bruckheimer Productions.” I mean, the guy is known for the most mindless, explosion-filled action movies made for absolutely the lowest common denominator of moviegoer. Still, I stuck with it, and I will say that at least it got my heart rate up.

Giovanni Ribisi Plays Kip Raines, a car thief who fails to deliver the 50 cars he promised to a ruthless gangster. The gangster agrees to spare his life if Kip's older brother, Memphis (Nicolas Cage), a legendary car thief, delivers the cars by the deadline. This isn't just 50 random cars, mind you, but a list of 50 specific models. Memphis knows that he and Kip can never meet the deadline alone, so he puts together his old team, including Robert Duvall, as Otto the mechanic, and Angelina Jolie, as Sway, Memphis's old girlfriend.

Together with Kip's younger, technologically savvy crew of thieves, the team puts together a plan to boost all the cars in one night, before the police have a chance to figure out what is going on. It's too late for that, though, as Detective Castlebeck (Delroy Lindo), who knows Memphis well, knows that with Memphis back in town, some cars are going to get stolen.

And get stolen they do! The team goes on an absolute orgy of car theft, dodging the police and local thugs. None of it makes a lot of sense. Some of the cars on the list are classics or expensive supercars, but a lot of them are just boring SUVs and luxury sedans. Maybe I just don't understand the stolen-car market. Also, for people who have to steal 50 cars in one night, the team seems to find a lot of time to just hang out and talk. They never display the kind of urgency that I would think fits the situation.

What strikes me the most about “Gone in 60 Seconds” is how shabby the film looks in the light of 2018. When it came out, the trailers made it look like, well, a slick, high-budget, Bruckheimer movie, with an all-star cast. Hell, Angelina Jolie alone had enough star power to open a movie back in 2000, but watching her now, she just looks skinny and skanky, like she smells bad.

These people do drive fast,though, to an upbeat soundtrack, which is perfect for cranking at high resistance on the spin bike. “Gone in 60 Seconds” is not a good movie by any definition, but it's way more fun than an exercise video.

2.5 stars out of 5

The Triplets of Belleville (2003) *****

I have written before about how the Japanese get all the anime-hype, but in my opinion the French actually do some of the best animated films. “The Triplets of Belleville” is one of the best examples of French superiority in this area.

With no dialogue, the charmingly-drawn film tells the tale of Madame Souza, a little, old lady raising her grandson. Champion is a rather depressed boy, presumably due to losing his parents. Even a puppy doesn't draw him out of his ennui; it just gives him a companion to lay around and mope with. Then Souza notices that Champion has an interest in bicycle racing. When a tricycle shows up at the house, Champion is transformed, like a switch has been turned on.

Fast forward several years, and Champion is an avid cyclist. With Souza as his trainer, he relentlessly rides the hilly, brick streets of Paris in preparation for the big race, the Tour de France. During the race, however, Champion is kidnapped by French gangsters, who cart him across the ocean. There, the gangsters force him to race on a stationary bike in a bizarre, gambling racket.

Souza and the dog follow Champion and his captors across the waters and into the city of Belleville, where they meet a trio of eccentric old women, once famous as the jazz-singing group, The Triplets of Belleville. The triplets take Souza in and wind up helping her in her quest to rescue her grandson.

It's impossible to describe how delightful “The Triplets of Belleville” is. Sometimes it's a little hard to understand what is going on, and some of the jokes develop slowly, so you have to just be patient and go with it. The music, the crazy animation, the charming characters, and the story conspire to richly reward multiple viewings of this film.

The film is hilarious, but by the end, you also feel that you have seen something meaningful. Unspoken in the film is the suggestion that Champion's parents are dead, which means that Mme. Souza has lost a son or daughter. Champion, as a boy, mopes around, while his grandmother gets on with life. Even the adult Champion, who has devoted himself to cycling, still seems rather depressive. He seems to sleepwalk (sleep-ride?) through his life, and as a a result he almost has his life taken from him. Mme. Souza, an old lady with an orthopedic shoe, is constantly on the go, finding solutions to problems and finding the joy in life. The Triplets, too, long past their heyday and living in a slum, are making the best of what they have and enjoying each day. These tropes are cliché because they are important. We hope, in the end, that Champion takes a lesson from these old ladies whom he is so lucky to have in his life.

5 stars out of 5

Aliens (1986) ****

I never thought I would say this, but I actually like a James Cameron movie better than a Ridley Scott movie. Scott is the fabled director of top-notch sci-fi from “Blade Runner” to “The Martian.” He directed 1979's "Alien", which is widely lauded as a classic itself, but upon re-watching it recently, I found it wasn't all that great. The 1986 sequel, “Aliens”, was directed by James Cameron, famous for big-budget, soulless blockbusters like “Titanic” and “Avatar.” So, “Aliens” is a sequel, and it's directed by a guy more known for putting asses in theater seats than for artistic cred. By all rights, it should not be the better movie, but I'm here to say that it is.

At the end of “Alien”, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) put herself into cryosleep in her shuttle after just barely defeating the alien monster. “Aliens” picks up with her shuttle being discovered years later, drifting through space. She is awakened and tells her story to representatives of The Company, who are naturally skeptical of her tale of an insatiable killing machine with acid for blood. They point out that in the years since Ripley went to sleep, the planet on which she and her crewmates found the alien has been colonized, and no one has reported any giant, killer bugs.

Ripley gets a job operating a robotic forklift, and settles down to a shabby, quiet life with her cat. Then Burke, a company rep (Paul Reiser), shows up to tell her that communication with that colony on Ripley's alien planet has been lost. Burke wants Ripley to come along with him and a bunch of space marines to see if it has anything to do with the killer bugs. As you can guess --- it does!

Where the original “Alien” was full of plot holes and nonsensical character choices, “Aliens” is a tightly-crafted thriller, well-paced, and internally consistent. Sigourney Weaver, the bright spot in “Alien”, continues to shine as one bad-ass heroine, exuding maternal instinct as she protects a colonist child named Newt. Paul Reiser is appropriately morally shifty as the Company Rep, and Bill Paxton is hilarious as the pessimistic marine, Hudson. Lance Henriksen, in particular, shines as Bishop, the ship's android.

More importantly, the screenwriting is way better than in “Alien.” The plot doesn't depend on characters making stupid, inexplicable choices. They sometimes lose their cool, but you would, too, if the walls suddenly came alive with giant, killer bugs! Even the seemingly ridiculous coincidence of the colony being attacked the same year that Ripley is rescued eventually makes perfect sense.

Some critics write “Aliens” off as a shoot-em-up action flick, but that clearly isn't fair. The first shots aren't even fired until something like an hour into the movie. When the shooting does start, the marines quickly get their asses handed to them, their weapons all but useless in the face of an unfamiliar threat. Some suggest that the film is a comment on the Vietnam War, at that time the best example of the limits of superior firepower in the face of an enemy fighting on its own turf. The film takes its time setting up the characters, including the overconfident marines, the inexperienced lieutenant, and Ripley, who approaches the mission with dread.

Ultimately, “Aliens” does devolve into shooting, explosions, and awesome hand-to-hand fighting. It IS an action flick, after all, but it's one of the great ones!

4 stars out of 5