Urban Cowboy (1980) ****1/2

Sissy: “You a real cowboy?”

Bud: “Well, that depends on what you think a real cowboy is.”

This exchange defines the movie “Urban Cowboy,” a movie that itself redefined the concept of what a cowboy is, not to mention ushering in a surge in soft-country music sales.

The movie got its start as a September 1978 article in Esquire magazine, which happens to be the same publication that, two years earlier, published “Tribal Rites of the New Saturday Night,” the article that led to a little film called “Saturday Night Fever.” “The Ballad of the Urban Cowboy: America's Search for True Grit” was born when Esquire editor Clay Felker visited Houston from New York to give a talk at Rice University. Afterwards, a Texas journalist took Felker out on the town, and when Felker saw Gilley's bar, bigger than a football field, with its mechanical bull and giant dance floor, he knew this was something people needed to read about.

Felker summoned writer Aaron Latham, who had roots in Texas. Latham spent his nights at Gilley's, meeting regulars and looking for a hook to hang his story on. He found it in Dew and Betty, a couple of teenagers who met at Gilley's, got married quick, and eventually split up, because, really, what does an eighteen-year-old know about making a marriage work? During one of the periods when their on-again-off-again relationship was on the rocks, Betty started riding the mechanical bull, just because Dew told her she couldn't. A story like that is lightning in a bottle, and Latham wound up with a hit article that got optioned into a hit movie.

John Travolta wasn't the obvious choice to play a cowboy. After “Saturday Night Fever,” he was the disco guy. Debra Winger, on the other hand, was mostly a nobody. They turned out to be perfect as Bud and Sissy, a couple of beautiful, young rednecks, each dumber than the other. The supporting cast has some gems, including Barry Corbin and Brooke Alderson as Bud's aunt and uncle. Madolyn Smith Osborn is excellent as Pam, the rich girl who tries to steal Bud away. Her cheekbones are even better than John Travolta's. Scott Glenn, of course, is pitch-perfect as the dangerous, ex-con cowboy.

And then there's Gilley's, the biggest supporting character of the film. Much of the filming was done in the actual bar, using real Gilley-rats as extras. The point of the story is that all these country people are drawn to the city for oil jobs, and they want something to remind them of their country roots. That's why they wear cowboy boots and drive pickups around suburban Dallas. Gilley's gave them that sense of community with like-minded people.

The country music resurgence spawned by “Urban Cowboy” eventually fell out of favor, criticized as “not real country,” as other, more traditional acts took over the country music scene. It's the same cycle that always goes through styles of music. It's true that a lot of that late 70's/early 80's, highly-produced country music is indistinguishable from the soft-rock of the time, but it doesn't mean the music was all bad. You cannot deny that “Urban Cowboy” has a great soundtrack. It's a mix of classic rock (“Lyin Eyes” by The Eagles, and Mickie Gilley doing a cover of “Stand By Me”), classic country (“The Devil Went Down to Georgia” by The Charlie Daniels Band), country-blues (“Don't It Make You Wanna Dance” by Bonnie Raitt), and soft country (“Could I Have This Dance” by Anne Murray). In the end, this question of which songs are “real country” is similar to the question of “What makes a real cowboy?” It depends on what your definition is.

4.5 stars out of 5

PS - It turns out I reviewed this back in 2015. I ranked it higher with this viewing, and I'll stand by that. The movie has really held up over time!

Contagion (2011) ****

Steven Soderbergh's pandemic movie from 2011 may be way too on-the-nose for our current situation, but everyone seems to be streaming it, so I decided to join the herd.

When a mysterious, new respiratory virus spreads across the globe, an ensemble cast works to decode the virus, contain its spread with social distancing and quarantines, and develop a vaccine. Meanwhile, civil disorder takes hold, as the economy crashes, people get hungry, and looters loot.

Soderbergh does a pretty good job here mixing the macro and the micro. As scientists across the globe collaborate to develop a vaccine, we also get invested in individual stories, like Matt Damon's widowed dad, trying to keep himself and his daughter safe in a quarantine zone. Excellent performances also come from Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Jennifer Ehle, and Marion Cotillard, to name a few. Laurence Fishburne plays the same Laurence Fishburne character he plays in every movie. (The guy has a deep voice and an interesting face, but his acting range is more like an acting hot-plate.)

The best thing about “Contagion” is how much it gets the science right. The movie dives deep into epidemiology, public health, and virology. Kate Winslet's character explains the concept of R0 (the average number of people that a person with a given disease will spread it to.) Ehle's character explains the difference between vaccine types and the difficulty of growing viruses in cell cultures. In the future, according to Star Trek, a single general practitioner like Dr. McCoy will be able to whip up a vaccine over a dramatic few days. Here in the Dark Ages, we still have to do it over months, with lots of failed attempts and dead monkeys. “Contagion” shows all that, putting it up there with real-science movies like "The Martian" and "Moon." The film not only promotes science, it also confronts anti-science. Jude Law plays a blogger who enriches himself by promoting a homeopathic cure and criticizing vaccines. There's a great scene where a TV news show interviewing a leading scientist cuts away to give equal time to Law's character, who isn't a scientist or even a serious journalist.

All of which is to say that watching “Contagion” is just like watching real life right now, but with better-looking people. You might think that all that scientific explanation, and the lack of car chases or a romance, make this a dry, difficult film to watch. You couldn't be more wrong. Steven Soderbergh has created here a truly gripping story that will have you on the edge of your seat. If you have exhausted all your escapist entertainment options and are ready to truly embrace this pandemic, then check it out. But wash your hands first!

4 stars out of 5

Rosemary's Baby (1968) ****

I must be the last person in the Free World to see this movie. Somehow, even after catching up on other classic horror films, like “The Omen” and “The Exorcist,” I had managed to skip this one. I'm glad I finally corrected that.

Mia Farrow plays Rosemary, who moves into a New York apartment with her struggling-actor husband, Guy. Like all old buildings, the place has its quirks, including being able to clearly hear the elderly couple next door through the bedroom wall. The sounds are mostly just bickering over silly things, but occasionally Rosemary and Guy seem to hear what sounds like chanting and music through the wall. More intriguing are the stories their old friend, Hutch, tells them about the building's history, including tales of murder, cannibalism, and witchcraft.

Meanwhile, Guy really hits it off with the elderly neighbors. Minnie (Ruth Gordon) and Roman seem harmless enough, but Minnie is very nosy, constantly swinging over to visit. It's unclear why Guy likes them so much, but he is also distracted around that time by his acting career, which really starts taking off. Rosemary's loneliness is briefly mitigated by becoming pregnant, but she has growing feelings of unease about her neighbors, their friends, and even Guy, eventually coming to believe that they are all witches, who are grooming her to steal her baby. As she becomes increasingly unhinged, we have to figure out whether the threat is real, or she is just losing her mind.

Adapted by Roman Polanski from Ira Levin's novel, “Rosemary's Baby” is a classic of psychological horror. The film is terrifying without ever showing us a single be-heading or stabbing. It's all about what is going on in the characters' minds. What struck me most about the film is the banality of the horrors: an inattentive husband, a dismissive doctor, nosy neighbors, and feelings during pregnancy of isolation and losing control. These will be familiar to many women. For Rosemary, having a baby is a dream that turns into a nightmare, but let's face it, it's no picnic for any woman.

4 stars out of 5

One Man, Two Guvnors (2011, streaming 2020) *****

If you're a fan of live theater, you may be aware that the British National Theatre allows live broadcasts of some of their productions to be screened in movie theaters. Now with both movie theaters and live theaters closed for the coronavirus pandemic, they are making recorded productions available for streaming at home. They are kicking off National Theatre At Home with an absolute gem, “One Man, Two Guvnors,” starring James Corden.

Corden plays Francis Henshall, an out-of-work musician who takes work as assistant to small-time crook Roscoe Crabbe. Seeing a chance to earn an extra meal ticket, Francis signs on for a second job as assistant to another man. All he has to do is serve both masters without letting either find out about the other. Complicating matters is that his first boss is actually Roscoe's twin sister, Rachel, in disguise. Roscoe is dead, and Rachel is in town to collect a dowry from the father of Roscoe's fiance, then skip town with Rachel's boyfriend, Stanley, who killed Roscoe and who happens to be Francis's other boss, although no one involved is aware of that. Roscoe's fiance, meanwhile, is in love with an actor. Francis has to navigate all this while pursuing his own love interest, as well as a meal. Ya got all that?

The story will seem very familiar to fans of Shakespeare's comedies. It's full of madcap misunderstandings, bawdy humor, and, of course, everyone has to get married in the end. If it all seems very old-fashioned, it's because it's based on an 18th-century play by Italian playwright Carlo Goldoni.

James Corden is an absolute delight. I'm a big fan of his from the show “Gavin & Stacey,” and he is in perfect form here. Corden benefits from two inarguable facts: 1) Every line is funnier when it's in a foreign accent, and 2) Every action is funnier when performed by a fat man. Corden doesn't just rest on his bulky, British laurels, however. He's a genuinely funny, charismatic actor.

Now, I somehow came into this with the idea that it was a one-man show. Imagine my confusion when the play started out with a stage full of actors I didn't recognize. (Corden doesn't appear until about ten minutes in.) Fortunately, the supporting cast is excellent, especially Oliver Chris as Stanley and Suzie Toase as Dolly, who re-defines good posture.

This is one that's worth seeking out. It won a load of Tonys and it's an utter joy. It is, however, very British. Between the accents, the slang, and the rapid fire delivery, it can be hard to follow. (Also reminiscent of Shakespeare.) If you just relax and go with it, though, everything becomes clear. This is only playing free on Youtube for a few days. After that, I don't know if it becomes unavailable, or subscription only. Don't take any chances. Do yourself a favor and search for it now!

5 stars out of 5

Blinded by the Light (2019) **

There comes a time in everyone's life when they start to become their own person, not just a child of their parents. This transition is often bumpy and contentious, and in Western countries it is usually connected to music. When that switch gets flipped, and an adolescent starts viewing their life, their family, and their world through newly critical eyes, there's usually a soundtrack. For Sarfraz Manzoor, that soundtrack was the music of Bruce Springsteen. Manzoor isn't an obvious choice for the Boss's number one fan. A Muslim Pakistani-Brit, Manzoor grew up in a strict, Pakistani family, in an industrial town, the son of a factory worker, in an England that would never let them forget that they weren't really English. All of which, of course, explains why Springsteen's music was so attractive to him, fueling his ambition to become a writer.

Manzoor eventually told his story in the book Greetings from Bury Park, and “Blinded by the Light” is an independent film based on it, directed by Gurinder Chadha (Bend it like Beckham). It's an upbeat, little story, full of Springsteen songs (Manzoor and the Boss eventually became friends, which enabled them to get the valuable music rights for this low-budget film.) I just wish the movie were a bit better.

Viveik Kalra plays the Manzoor character, whose name is changed to Javed for the movie. Javed is a high-school student with dreams of being a writer, but his stereotypical, Pakistani dad wants him to go into something practical so he can “get a good job.” A sympathetic English teacher (Hayley Atwell) encourages Javed's writing, while a new friend introduces him to the music of Bruce Springsteen. The two passions feed each other, and Javed becomes an obsessive Boss fan, while cementing his literary career ambitions.

“Blinded by the Light” suffers somewhat from coming out the same year as "Yesterday," another movie about a British dude of Asian descent with a cute, English girlfriend and an affinity for a classic rock artist. Both films are, in truth, pretty inconsequential, but “Yesterday” is the better of the two. “Blinded” suffers from archetypal characters, ham-handed fantasy sequences, shameless sentimentality, and limited acting talent. As an independent film, I guess the movie deserves more slack, but it is by the director of “Bend it like Beckham.” Gurinder Chadha is not exactly a rookie at this point, and I expected more. The best thing about the movie is the music. It's a real love letter to Springsteen's music, but you might be better off just playing a couple of his albums.

2 stars out of 5

Train to Busan (2016) **1/2

The first live-action feature by South Korean director Yeon Sang-ho got a lot of buzz at the 2016 Cannes Film Festival, and it has done quite well with viewers and critics. I'm not sure what the big deal is. It's just a standard, zombie movie, but with subtitles, and not as good as a lot of other films, like “28 Days Later” or even “World War Z,” which wasn't perfect, itself.

The plot is as straightforward as it gets. The zombie apocalypse hits South Korea, and a bunch of people on a train try to survive. As an exercise in action-film-making, “Train to Busan” at least demonstrates technical competence. The shots are well-done, the pace is good, and the fast-moving zombies are as creepy as any on screen. The problem is the hackneyed story: the archetypal villain, the noble hero, and a treacly story of parental love. If this film were made in the U.S., it would immediately be dismissed as an overly-sentimental, derivative mashup of “World War Z” and “Snowpiercer.”

The film does have some bright spots. Star Gong Yoo does a decent job, but the lesser-known actor Ma Dong-seok steals the movie. He is downright charismatic, with his expressive, smooshy face, and he dominates every scene he is in. I would watch more movies with this guy.

For me, “Train to Busan,” suffers from its own hype. It's not the worst movie ever, it's just nothing special. If you forget the hype, it should be possible to enjoy it as a straight-up action flick.

2.5 stars out of 5

The Wicker Man (1973) ****1/2

I recently watched the excellent "Midsommar," which has had a lot of comparisons to the 1973 folk-horror film “The Wicker Man.” Having now watched “The Wicker Man,” I realize just how much of a debt “Midsommar” owes to this horror classic.

Edward Woodward plays Sergeant Howie, a police detective dispatched to the isolated, Scottish island, Summerisle, to investigate a tip about a missing girl. He finds the villagers, even the girl's mother, extremely unhelpful. They first deny the girl's existence, then, when he catches them in the lie, they are cryptic about what may have happened to her. Meanwhile, Howie witnesses villagers performing pagan rituals, including copulating publicly on the village square. The owner of the island, Lord Summerisle (Christopher Lee), explains to Howie that they have returned to worshiping the old, celtic gods, to ensure good harvests. When Howie deduces that last Fall's harvest was poor, he suspects that the missing girl may be intended as a human sacrifice, and it's a race against the clock to find her.

The genius of “The Wicker Man” is the way the horror builds, ever so slowly. At first, Howie seems invincible, with his uniform and his authority. He is smart and relentless, and the villagers' simplistic efforts to thwart him seem destined to fail. Even the gorgeous Britt Ekland's naked siren song doesn't draw Howie off course.  The pagan rites scandalize the devoutly Christian Howie, but they are all out in the open, and they seem harmless enough. Who cares, after all, if a bunch of pretty girls dance naked, or people celebrate the fertility of the land by having sex? It's just a reminder of how many modern, Christian traditions, like Easter Eggs, have pagan roots. Gradually, though, we and Howie come to realize how alone he is on this island, where everyone seems to be set against him. What formerly seemed so strong, Howie and everything he represents, including lawful authority and modern civilization itself, starts to look fragile. Howie, in a sense IS the wicker man.

The 1980 novel “Waiting for the Barbarians,” by J.M. Coetzee tells the story of a frontier town. There, on the cowering edge of civilization, government agents torture captured indigenous people in order to prepare for a barbarian attack that never comes. The barbarians, it turns out, are already there, and they are them. “The Wicker Man” also explores what may be lurking under the thin veneer of civilized life. What would it take for our fellow man to turn on us, to sacrifice us? One bad harvest? A viral pandemic? An election?

4.5 stars out of 5

The Velocipastor (2018) ****

The first problem with “The Velocipastor” is that I didn't come up with the title. The second problem is that the title does not do justice to the film. Speaking to all people of discerning taste, “Welcome to your new, favorite movie.”

“The Velocipastor” was born in 2010, when film student Brendan Steere tried to type “velociraptor” into his phone, and it auto-corrected to “veloci pastor.” That may make this the first movie dreamed up by artificial intelligence. Steere first turned the idea into a fake, grindhouse-style trailer for a school project. That was so well-received that he got to work on a screenplay. Oddly enough, it took a few years to get funding for a movie about a priest who turns into a dinosaur. Ultimately, “The Velocipastor” was made for $35,000, which also happens to be the approximate number of f***s that this movie does not give.

Greg Cohan plays Father Doug, a priest who witnesses his parent's death in a car explosion in the first scene, and right away, we see what kind of movie this is. Instead of actually blowing up a car (expensive!), they just show us an empty frame with the words “Video FX: Burning Car.” (At this point, you should either be in love with the movie, or turning it off.) His faith shaken by the loss of his parents, Father Doug journeys to China, where he is given a sought-after dinosaur tooth. He cuts his hand on the tooth, and next thing we know he is back in the U.S., where he discovers he can transform into a dinosaur. A hooker named Carol (Alyssa Kempinski) convinces him to use his powers for good, and soon the dinosaur priest is ripping the arms and heads off of bad guys.

There are movies that are so bad , they're good, but “The Velocipastor” is so awful, it's awesome! It's full of quotable moments, like when the senior priest (played by the director's dad) tries to console Doug, “So your parents died, Doug. It's what parents do. They die on you.” The acting is about what you'd expect in a home-made movie. The soundtrack is actually some pretty kick-ass, obscure punk music. The film wisely just teases glimpses of the velociraptor until the end, when we finally get to see it in all its horrible, amazing glory.

The bottom line is that “The Velocipastor” is an instant cult classic. If you love the weirdness of "Buckaroo Banzai" and the absurdity of Monty Python, then this is right up your alley. Really, it's all there in the name. If you are the kind of person who saw this title and thought, “I need to see that,” you're right!

4 stars out of 5

Farewell, My Lovely (1975) ****

In the world of hard-boiled, detective fiction, there's Philip Marlowe, and then there's everybody else. Oh sure, some will point to Sam Spade or that Spenser, For Hire guy, but for me, Marlowe is the apotheosis of the hard-drinking, laconic, battered, white-knight detective. He's a tough guy, but not supernaturally tough. He receives more ass-whippings than he deals out, but he always gets back up and gets back on the case.

Most will point to Humphrey Bogart's depiction of Marlowe in “The Big Sleep,” but re-watching that film, I found that it wasn't quite as good as I had remembered it. It's a little too cute, and the chemistry between Bogart and Lauren Bacall is actually distracting. Bogart always seems to be looking for a chance to get in another clever one-liner, while making sure the camera catches his good side. “Farewell, My Lovely” isn't burdened with any of that. Robert Mitchum's Marlowe is just a tough-guy who likes his whiskey and likes to make an honest buck.

We find Marlowe feeling, for the first time, “tired, and realizing I was growing old. Maybe it was the rotten weather we'd had in L.A. Maybe the rotten cases I'd had. Mostly chasing a few missing husbands and then chasing their wives once I found them, in order to get paid. Or maybe it was just the plain fact that I am tired and growing old.” We follow Marlowe on one of those rotten cases, returning a runaway teen to her rich, arrogant parents. On that case, Marlowe meets his next client, a giant of a man, named Moose Malloy (Jack O'Halloran). Fresh out of prison for bank robbery, Moose wants Marlowe to find his old girlfriend, Velma, with nothing more to go on than her name and the club where she used to dance. The club is now a black club, where no one knows anything about a white girl from seven years ago, but don't think that will stop Marlowe. He follows the cold trail through the seedy underbelly of L.A., meeting washed-up showgirls, madames, gangsters, and a rich judge's young wife (Charlotte Rampling), suffering more concussions along the way than an NFL linebacker.

It has to be said that Robert Mitchum was a bit on the old side for the role. It's especially off-putting to see him at an old-looking 58 flirting with the 29-year-old Charlotte Rampling. Fortunately, Mitchum is so good that he makes up for the age issue. He nails the two essential Marlowe characteristics. First, Marlowe is as world-weary as they come. From his time as a cop to his years as a private eye, he's seen more corruption than anyone should. Marlowe has no illusions about humanity. Despite all that, the second Marlowe trait is his old-fashioned sense of decency. Marlowe lives hand to mouth because he won't cheat a client, he won't take a bribe, and he won't do something that he knows is inherently wrong. He lives in a dirty world, but he refuses to let it make him filthy.

Bogart's “The Big Sleep” Marlowe is clearly the most famous, but for my money, the best Phillip Marlowe is a tie between Robert Mitchum in this film and Elliot Gould's Marlowe from "The Long Goodbye." It's an apples to oranges comparison, because, while the films were only released a couple of years apart, “Farewell, My Lovely” is a classic noir set in the 1940s, while “The Long Goodbye” drags the old-fashioned detective into the swinging 1970s. How to decide between the two? Just watch them both!

4 stars out of 5

Fast Five (2011) **

I have written before that the original "The Fast and the Furious" movie is not completely without charm. Still, I had no interest in seeking out any of the many sequels in this franchise. I read, however, that “Fast Five” is considered the best of the bunch, so I decided to give it a try.

The good thing about action movies with such meaningless plots is that it's easy to jump into the middle of a franchise. In this case, if you have seen the first movie, you can easily skip ahead to this, the fifth without missing a nuance, because, of all the things this franchise has – guns, fights, explosions, cars jumping over things – nuance is one thing it doesn't have. In “Fast Five,” you quickly figure out that Brian O'Connor (Paul Walker) has left the FBI and become a criminal fugitive to be with Mia (Jordana Brewster) and her hulking brother, Dom (Vin Diesel). It's also apparent that, at some point, Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), Dom's girlfriend from the first movie, has died.

Things pick up in Brazil, where the crew is hiding out. Their friend Vince (Matt Schulze) has put together a heist so they can score enough cash to get new identities and disappear. The heist goes wrong, of course, leaving our anti-heroes on the run from both the law and a powerful cartel boss. A couple of American DEA agents are killed in the heist, so the U.S. responds by sending over a crack team of FBI agents led by agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson). Brian and Dom, meanwhile, assemble a cast of hard-driving crooks from the previous movies to help them rip off the cartel guy.

That's way more than you need to know. Plot is of such little importance to these movies as to make it ridiculous to try to summarize the story. These movies are about buff guys flexing their arms, hot babes leaning over, and fast cars drifting around corners. “Fast Five” has all of these in spades. As for what makes this one better than any of the other sequels, I'm at a loss. Maybe the arms are bigger (see Dwayne Johnson) or the babes are hotter (see Gal Godot). The cars couldn't really get any faster.

2 stars out of 5