Spenser Confidential (2020) **

Back when people still watched network TV, there were three kinds of movies: The first kind were the ones shown in cinemas, the Real Movies. They might later get shown on TV, but to be a Real Movie, it had to start out on the big screen. Then there were Straight-to-Video Movies, which were usually exploitative and almost always trash. Somewhere in the middle were Made-for-TV Movies. I think some of them were pretty decent, but I can't honestly remember any of them. I guess that's one of the defining features of TV movies; they are forgettable. 

I suppose the Straight-to-Video market has transitioned to BlueRay, but most people don't really buy their movies anymore. TV movies must still exist, but I cut the cord a long time ago, so it's been ages since I saw one or even an ad for one. What we do have in abundance now are Straight-to-Streaming Movies, and the jury is still out on them. Theoretically, the economics of streaming services should allow lesser-known, lower-budget, artsy films a chance to shine. The Straight-to-Video market had the same potential, though, and we know how that worked out. The difference is that back when we had video stores, you didn't walk into the store and within 3 seconds have someone in your face, pushing some trashy, Straight-to-Video movie on you. Netflix, on the other hand, automatically starts playing the trailer for whatever you scroll to, and they are really pushing their straight-to-streaming “Netflix Originals” these days. “Spenser Confidential” is one of these.

If you are familiar with the Robert B. Parker novels about the private detective, Spenser, and his shady ally, Hawk, or maybe have seen the TV series based on the books, “Spenser: For Hire,” then forget all that. Other than character names, “Spenser Confidential” has nothing in common with what came before. Mark Wahlberg plays Spenser, a disgraced Boston cop jailed for assaulting his police Captain. We meet Spenser as he is finishing up a 5-year prison sentence. Free at last, Spenser reunites with his father figure, Henry (Alan Arkin), avoids his ex-girlfriend Cissy (Iliza Shlesinger), and meets Henry's new protege, an aspiring MMA fighter named Hawk (Winston Duke.) Spenser's plan is to learn to drive a truck, then have a quiet life out West. When his former captain, a corrupt cop, gets murdered, Spenser is drawn back into the world of crime and police corruption.

If you ignore the dissimilarity to previous Spenser stories, it should be possible to enjoy this as a straight thriller, but its charms are limited. The thing absolutely reeks of lazy writing and bad acting. The actors aren't given much to work with, and they do a bad job with what they have.

A friend of a friend writes e-books, meaning books that will never see print. He just loads them up on Amazon, and people pay a buck or two to read them on their tablets. He has said that the key to that kind of work is not producing good writing, but producing lots of it. People will apparently read anything if you simply ensure that they never run out of content. Netflix seems to be operating on the same principle. I can't honestly think of a reason for a movie like “Spenser Confidential” to exist, but I guess some people will watch anything.

2 stars out of 5